Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

I’ve been thinking about change as opposed to CHANGE, the transformative kind where your life is never the same from that instant on. Fortunately that kind of change doesn’t happen very often because who could manage life on such a roller coaster.

Transformative changes are of two kinds. The first kind you know is happening when it happens. Like when you get married or find out that you have a chronic disease. For good or ill, you know your life will never be the same from then on. The second kind of transformative change is the kind you only recognize when you look back, sometimes way back, and you realize only in retrospect that your life had taken a new direction from that time on.

A transformative change of the second kind came to me one day when I was the parent of three young children, still a stay-at home mom as most of us were in the early nineteen sixties. I was probably a bit cranky that day, pulled as usual in many directions: getting the kids ready for school, fixing lunches, planning dinner, attending a PTA committee meeting, making phone calls for the upcoming election, taking the car in for its annual inspection. And that was just during the morning! I knew I had to fit in time to phone my mother. I hadn’t phoned her for two days so I knew I had to deal with the guilt trip she would lay on me when she answered the phone. (more…)

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My Aunt Lil and her husband George were Life Master Bridge players who pleaded with me to learn to play the game and I, being the busy wife playing house and raising three children, had no desire to learn Bridge. Years after my aunt and uncle passed away and I retired from my job as an employment counselor placing people in permanent office positions, I decided to learn to play Bridge. I have never played cards, with the exception of War and Fish with my grandchildren. So I started taking lessons about six years ago and realized that I would have to take lessons (and repeat them) for the rest of my life.  If I live a very long life, I may learn to play the game properly. It’s a wonderful game, stimulating and fun, unless you play with grouchy, cruel, people who never smile. My husband and I argue often (I say “black” and he says “white”), but he doesn’t play Bridge. Probably that’s why we continue to be happy together after fifty-three years. The good thing about Bridge is that I never trip or fall when I play. But that’s another story. (more…)

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