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Archive for the ‘Seniors’ Category

Turnaround by Shirley Kurland

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Halloween Fun by Jean Lythcott

I have been having fun lately. On Halloween, the children came under the archway and saw me sitting outside my cottage door holding a bowl full of candy. I asked, “Did you come to trick or treat?” They always said, “Yes”; to which I replied,”I’d love to have a trick!” They were non-plussed for a while but there were always some who had a trick. I recall one girl who asked me, “What happened to nine?” I said, “I have no idea!” She said, “7, 8, 9”. 🙂

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A minister dies and is waiting in line at the pearly gates. Ahead of him is a guy in sunglasses, a loud shirt, a leather jacker and jeans. St. Peter addresses this guy. “Who are you that I may know whether or not to admit you to the kingdom of heaven?” The guy replies, “I am Joe Cohen, taxi driver of Las Vegas.” St. Peter checks his list, smiles and says to the taxi driver, “Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the kingdom of heaven.” The taxi driver goes in with his robe and staff and now it is the minster’s turn.
The minister stands erect and booms out, “I am Joseph Snow, pastor of St. Mary’s for the last 45 years.” St. Peter consults his list and says to the minister, “Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the kingdom of heaven.” “Just a minute”, says the minister, “that man was a taxi driver and he gets a silken robe and a golden staff. How can this be?” “Up here we work by results, ” says St. Peter. “While you preached people slept; while he drove, people prayed.”

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Halloween night my friend opted to pass out Hot Wheels rather than candy. The reactions varied but one very small costumed Annie, stepping down the step, turned and said, “You didn’t give me candy.” I replied that she had a fun Hot Wheel instead. With hand on hip and in a huff she said, I’d rather have candy and stomped away. That had me chuckling all night.

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