Archive for the ‘Mothers’ Category

Mother-DaughterAn addition to your thoughtful response as to being a mom in retirement.  It is a lovely time to now share with adult children what you have been doing for them all these years.  They can now also be your support, listening ear, and an expert for you in the things they are experts in like electronics.  It can be a wonderful sharing time if you are willing to not always be the one who knows the most, and gives the most.  They gain from having a chance to do the same for you and to recognize as they go through the sometimes difficult and exhausting parts of parenting that you did it for them. Then you are likely to get special “thanks” for having been a parent for them.

One of our daughters who had made the difficult decision to only have one child said it was easier to make after watching me being a mom in retirement.  She realized you were not a mom for only 18 years, but for your whole life. Our retirement has been great because we enjoy and respect that our grown children have their own families and they respect that we are in retirement.  This allows us to participate and help out as we wish to and it allows them to receive praise from us for the great jobs they are doing as parents.

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My mother (long gone to wherever) was not the kind of person you might look forward to meeting. The first thing she’d ask upon entering your home is if you had a cigarette.  You‘d say no, and she‘d take out one of her open purse.  And then she’d ask if you had a match and you’d say no and again she’d take out one of her own bag.  And then she’d light up and ask how come you don’t to have any ashtrays as she flicked her ashes into one of the Toby mugs in your collection.  And then she’d look around your living room and ask if it was decorated by The Beastie Boys.  Don‘t ask. (more…)

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Marge Dugan died in 1988 – just a few months before her granddaughter Jorie (my daughter) was born. Sadly, they missed each other by a few months — though I have some sense that Mom may have sent her my way.

Mother was a special person — one who was kind and welcoming to all, kept confidences (she was the trusted confidant of ALL my father’s and her own sisters!) and never remembered what she did or gave to others. And she was smart. While quiet and modest, she held her own with a devoted husband who was larger than life — literally and figuratively. (more…)

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I enjoyed reading all of the wonderful tributes to moms. I have a mother who is 88 and going strong. I love her dearly and care for her with whatever support she needs. However my mom was not there for me during the most important years when a daughter needs her mother most — ages nine through fifteen.

I was raised at that time by my grandmothers. They tried their best to nurture and guide me but the generational differences between a 13 year old and grandparents in their 60’s caused a giant disconnect. At that time I lived with my dad and three brothers, I was a bit of a tomboy and gravitated to more masculine interests. Like listening to a transistor radio and playing sports. Those two things have helped my find my way through life. (more…)

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