Archive for the ‘Fables’ Category

Steel Toed BootMs. Amanda Noel-Claus is a trim, mature lady with sparkling blue eyes and a ready smile. Her nickname is Amy and is beloved by everybody who knows her. She has boundless energy and a wealth of knowledge. Her petticoats rustle under her red skirt and cover her black, high top, steel toe boots that she has no trouble using when it becomes necessary to kick you know what.

She is known for her delicious cookies and for being a stickler in changing oil, gas and oil filters in their numerous 4 wheel SUV’s..She keeps all service depatments on their toes with new and innovative products.

She also invests in the stock market. “You know, everybody retires some time,” she says while selling her stock and collecting her profits. Her record for profit taking would have a trader hang his head in shame.

The well being of all is a big concern for Amy. Organic veggies are always on the menu. She supervises all diets including her love, Santa. She even checks the feed for the reindeer. Rudolf lights up when he speaks of Amy and says with pride, “she runs a tight ship.”

Yes, Joan R., Amy is looking forward to their Bermuda getaway. She laughs as she says, “Now I can become the helpless little woman.”

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Fish-on-a-BikeWhen I was a child, I never gave Mrs. Claus a thought! I didn’t even know she might have a first name. As a teen, I  learned behind every successful man there is a woman. Then like many boomer women, I married my “prince.” Now that I’m older, wiser (?), I embrace the saying, “A woman without a man is a like a fish without a bicycle.” Well, I’m still holding onto my man and my bike…but…there are fantasy legends that still persist that I would like to end.

But to answer what Mrs. Claus would be today: First, she’d be part of the Elder Chicks online community, still baking cookies while marketing her brand on social networks and supplying to stores across the globe. She’d have her own cooking show from the Northpole; be a guest on The View; write a bestseller cook book “101 Ways to Make Reindeer” (just kidding); AND still be madly in love with Santa providing him with support and encouragement.

She sounds like a thoroughly modern 21st century lady! Alas, not even Mrs. Claus can’t do it all, so after the 25th she and Santa will holiday together in Bermuda until March 2015.

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