Have you ever sat on the beach looking out to the horizon, wondering what is beyond your vision? The waves hypnotically lull you into a trance where your mind wanders in and out of rooms, searching, searching more, and for what? An answer, any answer, the right answer that will explain life or may be just the very moment you are in.
That’s how I feel today on what has already started to be routine where I am home on Mondays as a semi-retiree. I find myself almost dreading Mondays without work as much as I did when I did have to report to work. I want to call my mother to ask how she handled her new found freedom of retirement. She appeared to enjoy it. How did she pass the days? What did she think about? She said she never looked back. Sadly, her retirement only lasted 4 years, and her life ended, it ended before it really began. Is that how life is?
A colleague of mine said that she does not want to grow old. She said that there is too much emphasis on the length of our lives (quantity) and not on the quality of the years. I don’t know if I ever focused on the quality of life, it was just the life I lived, life is living each day one day at a time.
Tomorrow when I report back to work I’ll be thinking about Wednesday and what to do on this next free day. Go figure. Live now, walk away from the ocean and focus on the grain of sand beneath your toe. It holds the universe.
ElderChicks 
Joan, how fortunate that our generation not only has quantity but can realistically also expect quality in our senior years –so different from our mothers’. Every stage in life has its challenges and its compensations. We have relief from many pressures, time to engage our whims and interests, permission to abandon them if we wish, be a dilettante, write a book, do good, do lunch, contemplate a grain of sand and our own mortality. The possibilities are infinite! Being newly retired shakes us up. Who are we now, after all, now that we’re retired? I hope you’ll have many more years than four to find out!
YES JOAN, I HAVE SAT ON THE BEACH AND WATCHED THE POUNDING OCEAN WAVES AND MARVELED AT ITS VASTNESS. I’VE FELT THE SALTY SPRAY AS THE WAVES COME CRASHING DOWN. WITH EACH WHITE CAP I GROW SMALLER AND SMALLER UNTIL I BECOME A GRAIN OF SAND…NO, SMALLER THAN THAT, AS I SLIP BETWEEN THE GRAINS OFSANDS. HOW MARVELOUS THAT I CAN SHARE IN THIS WONDROUS WORLD. SOME HOW I BECOME RENEWED, MY PROBLEMS SEEM TO MELT AWAY, REPLACED WITH A FEELING OF JOY.I HAVE BEEN PUT INTO PROSPECTIVE, JUST A DOT ON THIS PLANET.
NO,. I’M NOT ON PROZAC. IT IS JUST THE WAY MY BRAIN FUNCTIONS…A
DIFFERENT VIEW OF THE WORLD. MORE LITERAL AND CONCRETE. LIFE DOES NOT HAVE A BEGINNING AND AN END.IT IS A SPIRAL CONTINUING ON AND I AM ALLOWED TO TRAVERSE IT. RETIRE? AS IN ‘I’M TIRED THINK I’LL GO TO BED.’ OR ‘ RETIRE THE CAR ITS SHOT. THINK I’LL SELL IT FOR PARTS.’ RETIRE AS TO PUT ASIDE? OR IS RETIRE TO GO ON TO SOMETHING ELSE? THE DIFFERENT PHASES OF OUR LIVES. WE RETIRED FROM SCHOOL BOOKS TO GO TO WORK.RETIRED FROM DATING TO GET MARRIED. RETIRED THE CAREFREE LIFE TO HAVE CHILDREN. WE KEEP RETIRING PHASES WITHOUT A THOUGHT.
WE ARE STILL THE SAME PERSON WE WERE AT 20. MUCH SMARTER BUT PROBABLY A LOT SLOWER YET STILL THE SAME PERSON. NOW WE START A NEW PHRASE. GREET IT WITH THE SAME GUSTO AS YOU DID WHEN YOU WERE 20. RETIRE MY FOOT!
Ms. Reid, your blog brought tears to my eyes! What beautiful metaphors you used of the ocean and life. Your mother is still with you, whether you are home on a Monday morning or walking along the sand on a breezy evening. Keep open to all the possibilities of your retirement and start writing every new chapter!
Thank you, ladies, for all your kind words, encouragement, and wisdom!
Joan Reid