My mother-in-law is going home. Not the euphemism, but actually back home to her condominium. A year ago my mother-in-law was having health issues. Her breathing was difficult, her lungs were not working properly due to an issue with her heart.
At 91 years of age Pauline is our treasure; we wanted to keep her safe and not worry about her. So my husband’s sister got her into an assisted living residence close to her house. Pauline went to see a specialist and eventually had surgery.. and slowly but surely she has been recovering and getting stronger every day.
At the beginning of the summer she told us that she wanted to go back to her apartment. Pauline said it is very depressing seeing old, sick people every day and she longed to be back in her condo. So on October 1st, 2012, she is moving out of assisted living and moving back to her beautiful little condo where she and Poppy spent so many happy years together.
At 91 I say quality of life for her is no longer about having 24 hour care, but instead is all about her living where she is most comfortable. The journey continues..
ElderChicks 
Randy, I think your mother in law is doing the right thing. For whatever time she has left, she should be where she will be the most happy. There is nothing like home no matter what your age. I hope that she will have many happy days in her beloved familiar surroundings. I give you and the rest of the family credit for letting her call “the shots”.
Pauline is so fortunate to have a family who honor her wishes and her decision. What a beautiful group: mother, son, and granddaughter.
Such a wonderful example of love and respect…….
I think it is wonderful that you are honoring her wishes. So many children think they are doing the parent a favor but, in fact, they are diminishing them by not allowing the person to make their own decision. As long as the person has his/her full faculties, it is the wisest action. I allowed my dad to determine if he could no longer function on his own and he chose to “stay in charge” of his future. I never regretted it.
I hope Pauline is happy for as long as she has on this earth.
A very nice story, succinctly told.
I just think that it is wonderful that she has enough self-confidence to voice her feelings about where and how she wants to live. And kudos to her children who respect her wishes.
Pauline is blessed indeed with such a loving, understanding family.
I admire your mom for remaining an adult and you for respecting her right to do so. Here’s to many healthy, happy years ahead.
What a wonderful story of love, support and respect for the wishes of a loved one who is 91.
So many Boomers want to know what to do for their aging parents. We are at a new stage.Increased longevity allows us to enjoy laughter with our parents for decades longer. But it also brings new challenges, with no normative road map to guide us.
This blog and the comments often great insights into the perspectives of each party to the care giving process. I hope this lively discussion continues.We need to know more.
I will be teaching a course on this issue during the Winter at 3 adult education programs in the Boston area. I will certainly refer to this blog when I get in front of folks who really want to “do what is right” for their aging family members.
Thanks for this exchange.
Wendy, I wish I were there to take your course! I expect you will bring your expertise in the economics of our lives into the discourse. I well remember my mother, in her nineties, saying, “I didn’t realize I would outlive my money.”
Thank you Thelma
Go Pauline! And what a great granddaughter you have in Randy!