I was glad to briefly meet Thelma at BAKG (Big Apple Knitter’s Guild). I haven’t read your whole blog but it looks lovely.
I have become a knitting addict since my retirement (I’m 70) and it has helped me deal with stress. Here are my main stress causes: (1) my (same-sex) life partner of about 30 years has dementia. (2) I have heart and other health problems.
I welcome input from anyone else dealing with dementia. We live in NYC and I am faced with a lot of future decisions about where to live, etc. This is complicated by the fact that I can’t drive (and, of course, neither can she any more). I think we, or I, will be limited to an urban area. Isolation is a problem, even in nyc, especially with my limited health and energy. Getting around town, getting aides to stay with her, getting her to accept that, etc. All problematic. Back to knitting. I have found a helpful group on Ravelry, for those knitters out there who are familiar with it. Works better for me than alzheimer’s support groups.
Hope to hear from others on this blog. Thank you.
I hope that you have access to a day care program for your partner, and regular relief help at home. So often the primary care giver and other family members suffer great deprivation because of all that is involved in living and caring for a demented person, because there is little if any reciprocity of any kind, the environment is affected, and the ending is hopeless with no end date. I hope that you have good friends and family to give you emotional support, assistance with caring for your partner, and to cheer you up.
Yes, we have day care days a week, 4 hours a day, plus I get an aide in for 4 hours Sat. and Sun. Helpful, although there are problems. On Tues. I have to pick her up at 2pm because she hates bingo and will walk out! Wed. she doesn’t go because she doesn’t like the movies they show and will walk out.
As for the aide, a lovely person she likes a lot and yet when my partner knows the aide is coming, she starts cursing me. She has no more friends, my friends give me support as much as they can, her relatives are in Ireland and not interested in moving her back there. She insists she is going to Ireland, she loves her brothers and hates me (sometimes…Jekyl and Hyde syndrome). I have 2 brothers upstate who give emotional support.
I am a knitter too and find it relieves stress, is a way into the hearts of teenagers that I mentor, and pleases my children and grandchildren although I never make them anything unless they have chosen the style and yarn.
Dealing with dementia –seeing how little is left of a vital mind and a loving heart and being helpless to control the situation (read “cure”)– must be the ultimate stresser. I hope others who have cared for people with dementia will respond with their thoughts and ideas.