Recently, because of developing health conditions, I felt myself becoming quite depressed and powerless. Powerless to regain my youthful vigor and depressed at the concerns I faced as a widow, living alone, who felt forgotten. Friends were kind but to a normal extent, self-involved with their spouses, collective social network,etc. As I began to dwell on my increasing feelings of being overwhelmed by my situation, I realized that it was my responsibility to overcome my passivity towards issues that made me anxious. First I chose to begin and end my day with meditation. I meditate on my successes of the day. I reflect on my needless worry about tomorrows and let them go. I realize the power of my voice to let others know when I need help. I now ready my independent spirit to accept help graciously. I realized that I had grown timid about voicing disappointment or disagreement if I was unhappy with the actions of others.
For example, I endured a rude clerk at my pharmacy four times before I decided to discuss her unprofessional attitude and lack of concern for my needs. I dealt with the situation by contacting her supervisor, explaining how I had been given the wrong medication, been left waiting only to be told that the medication was not available, and other more simple examples of unconcern for me and the sizable amount that I spend monthly on medications. I asked the supervisor if that was the representation that she wanted for her business. She knew immediately who was responsible for my distress. This trivial situation had brought unneeded discomfort to me and I had allowed the humiliation to continue. By using my voice to someone who cared, on my next visit to the pharmacy, the rudeness of the clerk was gone. She treated me with the respect with which I deserved to be treated. These were ordinary events but I had allowed them to create in me an unnecessary feeling of being unimportant.
I realized also how I was allowing negative impressions to be turned inward. I found my voice again. I will use it more often if a situation warrants it. I will ask for the respect to which I am entitled because of my age, experience and humanity and I will hold those people who would deny me respect accountable. I wonder how many mature adults find themselves shrinking from conflict because their declining health make them feel too frail to deal with it.
PROUD OF YOU…….HANNAH
I couldn’t agree more. You go girl. You and every reader.
Finding your voice; finding your self. We really have to keep doing it, don’t we? Too many of us think compulsively about what we haven’t done, or think we’ve done wrong, or what might go wrong. Meditating on what went right each day is such a wonderful idea. Thank you for the great example.
Hi , good for you; I believe that being assertive is very important. We should not allow anyone to be ride to is or treat us like children–or call us “sweetie” just because we are older. I don’t know you, but I am proud of you!!! Syd
PS please pardon the typos
Yes, you go girl! It may be that we come from an era of being told to be good little girls and that mantra still hangs over us today. I have found myself in similar situations only to wonder later why in the world I didn’t speak up! Lois
Thank you all. Your comments made me smile. When I start smiling, my family starts becoming concerned because they don’t know what I am concocting behind the grin. LOL
Ooh, Robin! Tell us some of the things you’ve devised behind that wicked grin. I agree. I love it when seniors decide that they no longer have to do the things they really never wanted to do. Do any of you out there want to share what you’ve shed???
A happy update-thought I would perhaps have to stop a passion I have for travel. Hard to get together with others of the same interests and timing. After a concerted effort at regaining some aspects of my health issues-doctors, treatments, meds.,exercise, etc., I am going on another trip alone. I have a tour of New England on my schedule for Oct.-something I always wanted to do but never got around to do. I did not discuss the plans with anyone until all details were settled. When I accomplished my well-thought out plans, I went ahead to giving my family the details. They could say nothing but-“Wow, that is wonderful.” Truthfully, the change was in myself. I chose to enjoy, on a smaller scale, travel that would inject me with new visions. I also am devoting more intense effort to using my writing talents to resolve and make others aware that I may have to change vehicles, but my life is going on. And in conclusion, I am still using my voice to challenge rudeness and disrespect from those that should be helping me. A totally different story-a lightning incident, loss of tv for a month, dealing with an adjustor two states away and an insurance agent in my city who would not help me. Amazing how much time I have to write/correspond when I have no distractions from tv….Again the wicked grin.
As long as we have a voice in words , those who read and listen with the heart. Then we are not really alone.
This reminds me of: “You are treated as to how you allow yourself to be treated.”
At stores what chaps my ride is to be called “dear”. SERIOUSLY! The last time I heard it, I said, I am not your dear and walked away with a.huge smile.
Keep your voice. No matter our age, we are to be treated with respect.