Bert and I went to visit an old friend in the nursing home unit of the retirement complex in which she lives. Wilma is probably about 84-85 by now; she seems to have outlived most of her friends. She’s an independent, feisty gal, who despite severe mobility issues was living independently in a retirement village until she had a heart attack a few months ago. Her recovery wasn’t easy, and her subsequent inability to breathe without 24/7 oxygen, plus weakness in her extremities has led to her needing to stop driving, and leave the independent living apartment in her community. I thought her acceptance of this blow remarkable. She has one dutiful son and daughter-in-law, who make every effort to make her life as easy as it can be.Her comments put me in touch with how helpless one feels, when you are completely dependent on poorly paid employees to see to it that you get to physical therapy and breathing treatments as scheduled. Some physical therapists are better than others; her new one motivated her to walk 50 feet on her walker whereas the former one thought 25 feet was all she was capable of. She sees employees come and go –another thing she has no control over. She was rueful, not bitter, to notice that some dear friends in her complex ‘do not like to visit sick people’. Because I knew her other son as a young child, she was able to be equally philosophical about his inability to even call her very often.
She seems to know full well what can be changed, and what can’t, and accept things as they are, making the most of a difficult situation. Her stoicism put me in touch with asking myself how I would react were I in her shoes…
Living in a lovely apartment, with my husband able to do so much for me that I am not able to do for myself, I haven’t given ‘possibilities’ enough thought. I never thought I would want to move to be closer to either of our two daughters, but I can see that it might be necessary should anything happen to my husband. I wouldn’t want to outlive all my friends, but one never knows… I consider myself fortunate to be doing so well 11 years after a diagnosis of primary pulmonary hypertension. I love this condo dearly, but can see that moving to a retirement community may be in the future for both of us someday.
Wilma uses a cell phone with speed dial feature to stay in touch with people. I will ask her this week if she has given any thought to owning a Kindle, or one of those Tablets, I pods, or whatever they are called that can bring the internet right to you without electrical connections. I know I would want to have access to those modern ways of keeping my mind active and in touch were I to be more limited in what I can do for myself.
I am happy that my old friend Wilma is just as sharp mentally as she ever was, despite severe physical limitations. One doesn’t get a choice, but I can see that I have to give more thought to the possibility that something similar could happen to me. But, like the original “Alfred E. Newman: ‘Who Me Worry?’, I have scheduled two cruises , one a solo bridge cruise in December, and the other, almost a year from now: a Panama Canal crossing that does not involve any overseas flights.
Who ever said getting older was a piece of cake? It isn’t, but one has to do whatever it takes to enjoy what is ours to savor.
ElderChicks 
True….old age is not for sissies! Isolation and loneliness can be avoided!
When my husband and I noticed an independent living facility being built nearby, curious, we drove onto the construction site. With little but a construction trailer on the site, we checked out plans for the building from blue prints.
Driving home we discussed the possibility of considering a change in our lifestyle… the advantages as well as disadvantages. Now approaching age 90, my husband deceased for 3 years, I, more than ever, appreciate the decision we made 6 years ago. I can enjoy the companionship available to me, the housekeeping chores performed by others, the planned activities as well as the availability of 3 meals a day , if I so choose. The time to make such a decision, I believe, is BEFORE one needs to…while one is physically able to. I am a strong advocate for senior congregate
living….and if you have a pet to bring along….so much the better.
Just reading this story makes me feel good. Those of us who are lucky enough to reach senior years need company and examples in making new life choices and decisions. When I was young, I always was sure I wouldn’t consider living in a senior community. But then, when I was young, I hadn’t a clue about what being older feels like. I’m finding these technological advances comforting in keeping and renewing connections all over the world. Making new ones – as I’m able to do through ElderChicks – is frosting on a cake that often feels like it’s crumbling.