ElderChicks

As it approached, the thought struck terror in my heart, right up there with marriage and parenthood. Time of ease? Smell the roses? Read? Learn an instrument? Doing everything I always wanted to do but could never find the time? Well, not so, actually.

I have led a very privileged life. Never wealthy or famous, never envied or acclaimed, but a charmed life nevertheless. I loved to travel. We traveled a lot –with our children from the time they were infants. Every year a big trip, often by government or university invitation –at someone else’s expense. I have always tended –and smelled– the roses in my suburban garden. Always was a big reader. Played lots of tennis. Desperate to learn to play the clarinet. Practiced and failed confirming (again) my lack of talent. Painting classes? Same result. Wanted a career? Back to school for a doctorate. Immersed myself in study and a dissertation. Got faculty jobs. Got tenure. Got grants. Loved to teach but hated university politics. Never mind, I wasn’t forced by material need to claw my way up the academic ladder. I managed to satisfy my do-gooder needs by bringing academic programs into the community. When I felt I could do this with one hand tied behind my back I knew it was time for me to bow out and make room for new people with fresh perspectives. I was approaching seventy and ready for something else. My life had been wonderful so far and there was nothing I wanted to trade away.

So I’ve retired. Now what?

I do all of the things I have always done, only now I don’t have to set the alarm in the morning and can stay awake for the Colbert Report. I have more freedom and less responsibility than I have ever had in my life. But something is missing. Not the paycheck. Not the activities. I have plenty of curiosity and plenty of undeveloped skills to work on. And I’m very busy all the time!

What is missing seems to be purpose. Conversations with my dear friend, co-author, and co-blogger led us both to seek answers to this conundrum. And we hope to find them out there, among you, our sisters (and brothers). So let us hear from you. Let’s start a conversation about these years beyond parenthood and careers. What are your thoughts and musings? What can we take for ourselves? What can we pass on to others?  Leave a comment here.